Resolving Conflicts
Posted by: Buffalo Dream Center
Topic: Being A Peacemaker
Verse: Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God. Matthew 5:9
Props:
Instructions:
Discussion:
Introduction: Over the next few weeks we are going to talk about being a peacemaker. We have learned from our memory verse that one of the jobs of being a peacemaker is to resolve conflicts. Let’s talk about conflicts for a few minutes.
What is a conflict?
(A fight, argument, disagreement, quarrel)
Who do you get in conflicts with?
(Parents, relatives, sisters/brothers, friends, teachers, neighbors)
How do you feel when you get in conflicts with people?
(Angry, sad, lonely, hurt, mad)
There are lots of different ways people react to conflicts some are bad and some are good. In this container I have some short stories about conflicts people have had. I am going to have a volunteer come up and pick one. I will read it and then you guys have to decide if they handled their conflict in a good way or a bad way. If they handled their conflict in a good way I want you to stand up and cheer. If they handled their conflict in a bad way I want you to stand up and “Boo”.
Put Downs
Your best friend phones you for advice. While you are on the phone your little sister starts yelling at you. You get really mad at her and you start yelling back at her, calling her names.
Talk: Did you react in a good way or a bad way? Little sisters do need to be taught a lesson. Some people handle conflicts by attacking others with mean and angry words. This response to a conflict stirs up everyone’s anger. It doesn’t make Jesus happy to handle a conflict this way.
The Blame Game
You are in the corner store. You see your favorite candy bar. You do not have enough money to buy it. When the cashier isn’t looking you slip the candy bar in your pocket. However, another store worker sees you and confronts you. You say that it really isn’t your fault. Your friend standing outside the store made you do it. He was going to beat you up if you didn’t bring him a candy bar.
Talk: Did you say the right thing? Besides get a new friend is this a good way to react to a conflict. Instead of taking the responsibility, we try to escape by blaming others. There are lots of people we try to blame for things – our friends, family, teachers, brothers and sisters.
Overlook
You and your brother share a room at home. You keep your stuff in one half of the room, and your brother keeps his half on his side of the room. When you get home from school you could tell that your brother was going through your CD’s because they were messed up. The rule is nobody touches the other person’s stuff without asking. At first you are a little mad, but you decide to overlook and forget about that rule. Your brother didn’t ruin anything; he just wanted to listen to some music.
Talk: Do you think the guy in this story reacted in a good way or bad way. The guy in this story avoided a silly conflict with his brother by overlooking something. There are many situations we will find ourselves in where we just need to overlook what someone has done to us.
Fight
Your next-door neighbor took your football off your front porch and started playing it without your permission. You got home from school and saw them playing with your football. You march over to where they are playing and start beating up your next-door neighbor before he can even explain why he has your football.
Talk: Did you react in a good way or a bad way? After all you have told your neighbor a million times not to play with your football until you get home. It is wrong to use physical force to resolve a conflict and get what want.
Get Help
At basketball practice all the uniforms are being handed out. You go to put the one you were given on when suddenly another team member runs up to you and says “Hey, that’s my uniform. Yours is over there. You know this is your uniform because you have not let it out of your sight. Instead of fighting over it, you decide to go to the coach for help.
Talk: Did you do the right thing by getting someone else involved in your conflict? When you cannot resolve a conflict with someone one of the best things you can do is get help. The very important thing is that you get the right person to help you.
Who would make a good helper? Mom or dad, teacher, coach, another adult you trust etc.
Who would not make a good helper? Someone who is your peer or your friend because they would only take sides
Denial
You and your friend get in a fight a school during class over a pencil. The teacher sends you to the principal’s office with a note. When you get to the principal’s office and he begins to question you about what happened you just deny the whole thing as if it never happened.
Talk: Is this a good way to deal with a conflict – denial? It is never good to pretend a conflict doesn’t exist. First of all, that is lying. What does God say about lying? Second of all you will never be able to resolve your conflict.
Conclusion:
Who here thinks that as Christians we need to follow the Bible?
The Bible says, “ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, Live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (Go over the verse different ways)
This means that we need to do everything we can to avoid conflicts, but if we get in a conflict then we need to resolve the conflict the way Jesus would want us to. Who remembers those ways? Over look something someone did, talk out a problem and get help.
Pledge:
I promise to do my best this we to live a peace with everyone. If I get into a conflict I will not say mean things, I will not fight, I will not lie, but I will be a peacemaker.
Next week we are going to look at how people in the Bible handled conflicts. Some did a good job and some did a bad job.
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